Make a left at the old man

I present to you a typical conversation held during lunch with my coworkers at the Museum of Natural History:


Martin: I drove my car to work today.
Zhi: Yeah? Me too. What kind of car is it?
Martin: [Insert car talk during which my eyes just kind of glazed over]
Zhi: Aweome! Can I drift it?
Martin: No you cannot.
Zhi: Aw come on!
Martin: ...No you cannot.
Luz: I learned to drive in Puerto Rico. It's different over there. There are no big signs saying "You are on whatever street." If you need to go somewhere over there, you go by landmarks.
Jovan: What, so if you stop for directions, people will just be like.. make a right at the gas station.
Zhi: Then a left at the liquor store.
Jovan: When you reach the red house, turn left.
Zhi: But not the really red house. The kind of pinkish faded red. You'll know it when you see it, trust me.
Jovan: Then you'll come to a whole street of yellow houses. You have to turn at the lightest one.
Zhi: And then you'll see this really old man... he's ALWAYS there.
Martin: Where's the old man? He died! Oh no, where do I go!?
Luz: Exactly. And don't forget to pass the cows. Oh, have you ever driven with one of those GPS systems? They tell you exactly where to go, it's great.
Zhi: Yeah, except they always make you go the long way. "Turn left. Turn left. Turn left. Turn lef-" hey wait a second, we just made a circle!
Martin: The scenic route, man.
Zhi: And they talk back, too. You'll be cursing it out and it'll go in that same voice "shut up."